My Eating Dilemma (as of late)

Honestly this post is going to be a mess and have no conclusion, so here is your cue to leave if you’re not into that.

I’ve struggled on and off with eating disorders since I was 8. Yes you read that right, I was in Grade 3 when I first started “extreme dieting” which turned into anorexia real quick. Fast forward almost 13 years and I’m still dealing with the same thing: trying to figure out how to eat healthy without me falling back to my old ways.

In November 2016 I made a huge change in my diet by going completely vegan. It started off amazing. I had stopped binging on unhealthy food and then purging 20 minutes later. I had lost nearly 20 lbs in less than 3 months. I felt the best I ever felt about my body. Sadly, I fell off track in late March/early April when I was going through a stressful and toxic living situation (read my post “Life isn’t fair… it really isn’t). I gained about 7-8 lbs and that’s kind of where I am now.

I’m eating vegan and trying to focus more on eating whole plant foods the majority of the time. I am also tracking calories and macros. I decided that my body at 5’9 needs more than 1,200 calories a day to function so I upped my intake to 1,500 a day. This seems great and I should have no problems with this, right? Wrong.

I have a horrible habit of binge eating at night. This was made very clear to my lovely boyfriend this past weekend. We ate healthy vegan/vegetarian meals together at his house or at his family’s house and less than an hour after we ate I would be raiding the pantry for food. Why? I was just hungry. My head hurts when I’m hungry and if I have access to food there is no stopping me. I usually don’t like corn pops, but I managed to eat a whole jumbo sized box of them this weekend which seriously pissed off my boyfriend. I felt like shit after and my headache did not go away. I am now carrying Tylenol with me and having some before bed to stop my hunger headache. I wish Tylenol could cure my head from constantly thinking about food and how much I will weigh in the morning.

So my question (I am seeking suggestions here, don’t be shy people) is… Does anyone else have this hunger headache problem? What are some very filling vegan foods I should try? How do I stop CONSTANTLY thinking about food/how much I currently weight? Any techniques on how I can break this habit of night eating?

Thanks for reading xoxoxoxo


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